2012 m. vasario 10 d., penktadienis
Ko (ne)nori moterys(20)Pirmadienis, 2008 lapkričio 10 d. „Nu koks durnius, gal baigsi?" - vaizduodama be galo įsižeidusią išstenėjo Dovilė, kai aš, nusižiūrėjęs, ką daro šauniausi mano darželio draugai, be ceremonijų pakėliau jai sijonėlį. Taip pirmą kartą artimiau susipažinau su priešinga lytimi, nors tada ne kažin ką išvydau ir supratau. Beje, nesupratau, ir kodėl Dovilė taip priekaištingai į mane žiūrėjo, nors jos nurodymui paklusau. Tada dar nebuvau skaitęs apie paslaptingą moterų pasaulį ir nežinojau, kad jų vartojami žodžiai ne visada atitinka tikrąsias reikšmes.
Vėliau, mokyklos laikais, moterims man atstovavo valytojos, bufetininkės ir troleibusų kontrolierės. Na, dar direktoriaus pavaduotoja... Bet ši buvo toli, retai matydavau, o jei taip atsitikdavo, nedrįsdavau pakelti akių. Apskritai mokytojos man - atskira žmonių rūšis. Ką darysi, toks tad kuklus buvo mano repertuaras. Dėl to kalti nespalvoti televizoriai, „Jaunimo gretos" ir dar „Tarybinė moteris". Merilyn Monroe ar Sophia Loren, ką jau kalbėti apie „Playboy", nepriklausė mano pasauliui. Veikiau tai buvo mitologiniai esiniai, ir galvoti apie jas kaip apie gyvas moteris man nešaudavo į galvą (ar kitą kūno vietą).
Šiandien laikai kiti. Man šypsosi „vaniš-man-kaip-tik" moterys, įvairių konfigūracijų blondinės ir brunetės a la skaivos ar rusytės - bemaž tokios pat kaip merginos iš reklamų „tomis dienomis". Dar yra moterų, kurioms patinka Valinskas - neprilygstamas mūsų televizijos princas (žinoma, šalia kito princo Cicino). Valinską turiu galvoje kaip atstovą profesijos, artimos Dievo veiklai, tai yra kaip pelenių (ir abiejų lyčių) darytoją (Lietuva nūnai princų ir pelenių kraštas). Apskritai Pelenės likimas - karščiausia kiekvienos dabartinės Severiutės ir potencialios Antano Vienuolio paskenduolės svajonė. Mat Pelenė padarė ir karjerą: tarnaitė tapo princese ir paliudijo romantišką teisybės triumfą, o tai artima kiekvieno lietuvio varguolio sielai.
Šiais laikais reikėtų patikslinimo: dailioji lytis iš stipriosios nori visko, išskyrus jį patį (o anksčiau nesuprasdavau, kodėl gražuolės iš tikrųjų įsimyli storus ir nuplikusius milijonierius). Tačiau toks tiesmukumas jautriai ir romantiškai sielai nepriimtinas, todėl tikruosius tikslus reikia įpakuoti į tyrų jausmų celofaną. Minėtoje pasakoje šią funkciją atlieka nedorėlė pamotė ir nesąžiningos jos dukros. Netyrų pamotės dukrų, viso jų nesąžiningo verslo ir tyro jausmo priešprieša mums aiškiai paliudija, kad tik Pelenė verta princesės likimo. Ir tiesa nugali... nes tiesa visada yra jausmas, kad esi teisus. Ir ši nuostabi istorija, pagardinta įvairiais padažais, įvairiu formatu transliuojama per televizorius bei kitokius pažinimo šaltinius.
Tiesa, vienas Pelenės istorijos epizodas - beje, ir kitų pasakų - man kelia abejonių. Tas paskutinis sakinys: „Jie ilgai ir laimingai gyveno." Kodėl istorija nutyli, kaip „laimingai" jie gyveno? Kas sudarė jų laimę? Kaip ir filme „Amelija iš Monmartro": pasakojama istorija tik iki Jos ir Jo susiėjimo. „Po to" jie tiesiog skrieja Paryžiaus gatvėmis mopedu. Bet juk visą laiką mopedais neskrajosi. Reikia ir pavalgyti, ir grindis išplauti, ir dar pinigų plovimo priemonėms įsigyti, ir t.t. Romeo ir Džuljetos istorija nebūtų tapusi simboline, jei ne klasikinė jos pabaiga. Meilė amžina tik vienu atveju - kai mylimieji laiku numiršta. Ar bent laiku išsiskiria. Laiku, vadinasi, iki pradės gyventi kartu.
Todėl nereikia stengtis vieniems kitų suprasti, įsijausti vieniems į kitus. O jei jau taip nutiko, jei jaučiatės lyg vienas kūnas ir siela, jei jūsų širdys plaka vienu ritmu, žinokite, kad reikalai prasti - jūsų meilė jau baigėsi (o gal dar neprasidėjo), tik to nepastebite. Gyvenate iliuzija ir vieną dieną pabudęs(-usi) paklausite savęs, kas ta nepažįstamoji (-asis), mieganti (-is) šalia jūsų? O gal ir nepabusite... Net ir nežinau, kas geriau. Viskas baigiasi tada, kai viskas „pasidaro" gerai. (Deja, atvirkštinis variantas ne visada galioja.)
Šią tiesą patvirtina nūnai išpopuliarėjusi sporto šaka - sutuoktinio išbandymas meilės esemesais: ji apsimeta nepažįstamąja ir pradeda atakuoti jį aistringais laiškeliais. Ir... viskas rutuliojasi standartiškai (vyrai tikrai neturi fantazijos). Nebūtina pasakoti, kuo istorija baigiasi. Neseniai tokią vadovėlinę istoriją su graudžiais komentarais („visi vyrai kiaulės, ir nėra kuo apsirengti") spausdino ir žurnalas „Moteris". Kadangi tokių bandymų padariniai žinomi iš anksto, kyla klausimas, kam to reikia? Atsakymas: buvo viskas gerai. Jie tiesiog per „ilgai ir per laimingai gyveno". Reikėjo, kad vėl viskas būtų neaišku, kad vėl pakviptų drama. Kad ateitis būtų miglota. Kita vertus, galima įtarti, kad yra ir pragmatiškas šių bandymų tikslas. Daugumai moterų apsimoka turėti prasikaltusį vyrą: toks šeimoje gerokai naudingesnis. Apskritai manau, kad vyrai ir moterys vieni kitų suprasti negali. Nors, tiesą sakant, vieni kitus supranta geriau nei patys save. Nesupranta jie kitko: kodėl kitas/kita nenori to, ko aš norėčiau, kad jis/ji norėtų? Nors tai ne nesupratimas, o protestas prieš norų neatitikimą.
Dėkui Dievui, žinojimas ir supratimas pralaimi norėjimu. Praktika patvirtina: jau seniai esame gyvenimo ir santykių ekspertai. Viską mes žinome - kaip maitintis, kaip ir kiek mylėtis, kokius kūno mygtukus paspausti, ką ir kada sakyti, ko neklausti „po to", kur ir su kuo eiti ir t.t. Regis, susimeistrauti laimę taip paprasta - visi prietaisai ir naudojimo instrukcijos guli lentynose po nosim. Tik va - paradoksas: niekas negerėja, laimės kaip nėr, taip nėr (kalbu tik apie normalius atvejus). Mes pykstamės, senstame, storėjame, nieko nespėjame ir nebematome prasmės. Todėl ir gyvename. O jei jau „atsitiko" laimė, nepatingėkit pasportuoti: išbandykit, ar jūsų santuokinis jums ištikimas.
Moteris.lt neredaguoja komentarų ir už juos neatsako. moteris.lt pasilieka teisę pašalinti tuos skaitytojų komentarus, kurie yra nekultūringi, pasirašyti kito asmens vardu, nesusiję su tema, reklamuoja, kursto nelegaliems veiksmams ar kitaip pažeidžia įstatymus.
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Ypač šiuolaikiška tai, kad Pelenė orientuojasi ne į žmogų, o į socialinį statusą: ji nesigilina į princo dvasinį pasaulį ir laisvalaikio pomėgius, ji tik svajoja apie rūmus ir princesiavimą. O princas taip labai patikusią Pelenę, savo meilę, atpažįsta ne iš veido ar balso (ką jau kalbėti apie akis, tas senamadiškas meilės ryšio išdavikes), o... čiupinėdamas jos kojas ir matuodamas batelius. Sveikas ir gamtiškas vyro požiūris į moteris. Beje, kaip ir Pelenės - į vyrus. Šiuo atveju aiškiai pasisakoma už laiko patikrintas vertybes, paprastai kalbant, ko nori moterys iš vyrų ir ko nori vyrai iš moterų. Tai skambėtų maždaug taip: kiekviena moteris iš vieno vyro nori visko, o visi vyrai iš kiekvienos moters - tik vieno.
